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A pint of milk

A loaf of bread

A lump of cheese

That’s turning red

A slice of ham

Some boiled goose

And a bottle of

That mushroom juice!

There’s trouble in the marketplace

So run away and hide

That horrid little bastard’s here

So best you stay inside

He’s knocking over tables

And he’s messing up the stalls

It makes you wonder

Where he found the gall

And why he bothers even being here at all

Some battery and arson

Burglary and petty theft

Public intoxication

Mischief, larceny, and all the rest!

There’s trouble in the marketplace

So run away and hide

That horrid little bastard’s here

So best you stay inside

He’s knocking over tables

And he’s messing up the stalls

It makes you wonder

Where he found the gall

And why he bothers even being here at all