Don’t look at me when you talk to me There’s nothing for you to see I’m acting perfectly normal - This isn’t a burglary! That’s a terrible accusation, And one that I must resent So keep your blabbering mouth shut Or else I’ll kick in your head! “We saw you in the kitchen We saw you at the sink We saw you with the butter knife Giving a little lick We saw you turning your head And looking us in the eye The evidence is against you And still you try to lie?” “Caught red handed!” You’re making a big mistake! “Caught red handed!” It’s really not what you might think! “Caught red handed!” Believe me I can explain You’ve misunderstood, I’m perfectly good! So don’t you dare give me the blame! It wasn’t me! You didn’t see anything! Your eyes can be deceiving Showing you things you never did see You probably misremembered It definitely wasn’t me! I’m as innocent as a church mouse I never did anything wrong So don’t you go slandering my name Else I’ll give you a kick in the balls “We saw you in the tavern We saw you up at the bar We saw you drinking several pints And getting into your car We saw you driving recklessly Laughing as you sped by The evidence is against you And still you try to lie?” “Caught red handed!” You’re making a big mistake! “Caught red handed!” It’s really not what you might think! “Caught red handed!” Believe me I can explain You’ve misunderstood, I’m perfectly good! So don’t you dare give me the blame! I know that I’m a rotten gnome I know that I’ve done wrong I know you think that I’m no good And prison is where I belong But just the once you’ve made a mistake It certainly wasn’t me! How dare you besmirch my innocent name My lawyer will speak with thee! “We saw you by the Pixie Pool We saw you undo your fly We saw you doing something obscene That made the pixies cry We saw you laughing at the mess A twinkle in your eye The evidence is against you And still you try to lie?” “Caught red handed!” You’re making a big mistake! “Caught red handed!” It’s really not what you might think! “Caught red handed!” Believe me I can explain You’ve misunderstood, I’m perfectly good! So don’t you dare give me the blame!