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This saccharine remembrance

Been spending too much time

Hours pass like seconds

Yet feel like years

Easy to get lost

Clock keeps ticking

Right now, there’s only where I go when I

Float in the void

Timeless, trying to remember

We have no choice in those moments

We’re either prepared or we’re not

And if we aren’t, the mechanism engages

And erases the ability to process

My recollection is getting hazy

Where will you be when that is gone too?

Entire years of life now choke me up

To gaze upon pictures you carefully took

These mementos are all I have

But I can’t bear to look, I can’t bear to go there

Heavy on my heart

You were the most stalwart support I ever had

What is left in your wake?

The test I never prepared for:

To show love in actions

To push through the sadness

To keep going for your family

To find joy in the small things

Appreciate the beauty of the world

Feel the presence of love in everything

Move mountains for what really matters

Show up every day to do the work

This is all too much

I don’t know if I can do it

Missing you forever

Living to honor you

And prove to you somewhere beyond

That I am strong

That you did not fail

That this is all

Part of a beautiful grand plan

That this is all

Worth it in the end