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Veteran of loserhood, elite couchmaster

Done, paid his dues, bitter and sneering

Where were you in ’86?

The sum of your achievements,

Crushed like so many beer cans

I don’t care where you were back in the day

Now you’re a neurotic, depressed, inflated waste

The twinkle in your puppy eyes has faded

Now you’re an old dog and you smell like shit

Self-righteous pouter, worthless and jaded

The twinkle in your puppy eyes has faded

Now you’re just an old dog and you smell like shit