---

alone he came to his decision

sore tears stiffening his cheeks

as headlamps flicked the ceiling with white duster

and darkness roared downhill with nervous brakes

below the murmuring and laughter,

the female-smelling jokes

and then his misery and anger

sharp suddenly became:

"I wish that I was dead - oh they will be sorry then -

I hate them and I'll kill myself today -

I want to die - I hate them - I hate them - I hate them -

I hate them and above I hate myself"

and killed itself in fact

but not that day as he had decided,

the deed itself for years deterred

occurred a wintry night when he was loaded.

Belching with scotch and misery he turned

The gas tap and placed his head

Gently like a pudding in the oven

"I want to die I'll hurt them yet" he said,

and once again.

"tomorrow I'll be dead - oh, they will be sorry then -

I hate them - I'll make they cry today!

I want to die - I hate them - I hate them - I hate them

I hate them and above I hate myself

lampless darkness roared inside his head

then sighed into a silence in which played

the grown-up voices, now, still up late

indifferent to his rage as to his fate