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This is the way that I feel

I can't find words to tell what my pain is

I can't control what I do

I know this is fucking wrong

Every time I tell myself that "I must stop"

But then here I am telling another lie

I don't know if this is decease or something like that

I feel pleasure when I'm doing it

Then I regret and instead of telling the truth

I try to figure out how to keep it working

I pray it dies out there,

However, it grows more and more

I wish I could stop it

I'm lost in my own life

Where everything is fake

I don't know what I can do

I can't control it

My life means nothing

But a mask behind some lies