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Time to wake up, son, time to go to school!

Here, put on your socks, let me wipe off all that drool

No you can’t have chicken nuggets, mommy made some eggs

I’m sorry, that’s the rule, so please stop biting my legs

Driving into school, with Kidz Bop on repeat

Have a good day son while I go feel a moment’s peace

You sneeze in my mouth, I cringe and say bless you

You run off and I’m pretty sure you just gave me the flu

I used to be a man

I used to be a person, but

Now I’m just a meal ticket for a parasite

Life support system for a greedy little tyke

All my dreams and plans had to take a backseat

To a twenty pound crying, whining, shitty sack of meat

I don’t know how the moon, no, and I don’t know why a tree

I don’t know why you ask these questions so incessantly

What’d you do today, oh you saw a cat, that’s nice

I contemplated the abyss as I grieved for my life

Son, your baby sister’s sternum is not a trampoline

Why is peanut butter toast stuck on my computer screen

I’ve read you five stories, now will you please go to sleep

Fine, I’ll read you another, you selfish little creep

I used to have fun

I used to have friends, but

Now I don’t have anything in my life

but the unceasing march of time

Everyone I know is a parent too

and their kids suck as much as mine

Eat your peas

Preschool cesspool (x4)

No one at that school makes the children wash their hands

Then they go home, spread disease across the land

Filthy microbes have infested all my cells

I got what I deserved in a self-made hell

I used to be fine

I used to be healthy, but

Now I’m just a shell, just a walking garbage pile

Here’s your fish sticks, laundry’s done dear, meanwhile

Can’t take a second for myself to putrify, but

Maybe, if I’m very very lucky, I could die

In this

Preschool cesspool (x4)