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I ain't no died in the wool

You never know what next I'll pull

You might get sick of all my bull

'Cause I'm a real bona-fide

Master of the silly and snide

Watch out for caterpillars in your french fries

There's no need for your ears to smoke

I was only playing a joke

You get that shotgun out of here

I've seen policemen around here

Sometimes I go too far

Taking the lug nuts off your car

Putting dead frogs in your pickle jar

Check out the seat in the john

Make sure what you're sitting on

The paint might be wet and that's no con

(Repeat CHORUS)

I'll be the life of your party

I'll be the death of you yet

Do you think you'll out-do me?

My smile might give me away

While I try to screw up your day

To be my buddy you got to pay

The price is your raging face

While you chase me all over the place

In your eye-drops there's some Mace

(Repeat CHORUS)