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I was taking a dump and my protein powder was sitting on the shelf as it always is. When all of a sudden…… an earthquake hits. Probably just an aftershock from the dump I took off the parking garage last year. Anyways I jumped up and protected my head. Subsequently the vibrations of the Earth knocked my protein powder from the shelf into the toilet and then for some dumpin' reason the toilet flushed. What do I do now? All I talk about to my friend is protein. This is some situation I have gotten myself in.

HYPOCRITICAL BLASPHAMY!

Choosing to protect my head and not my protein;

How can I regard my own life as something more valuable than the powder of peace.

If all you talk about is protein then you have to live it.

The only reason to….errr….BLEGHHHHHH!!!

The lowland gorilla got jacked because of protein.

How is Dr. B gonna get jacked when his protein is at the bottom of the septic tank.

I know, its time for a little swim. I go to the septic tank and dive in

It kinda smells down here. I swim to the bottom and save my protein.

When I pull it out the protein smells like septic tank and I feel like it is no longer safe for human consumption. Good thing Dr. B is barely human.

But still, it smells bad so I think I'm just gonna throw it out

And go to SAMS CLUB to get me some more.

My parents got me a membership there and I have heard there protein is cheap.

Even so I wasted some perfectly good protein.

I beseech forgiveness!

HYPOCRITICAL BLASPHAMY OF THE PROTIEN DILEMA.

We beseech forgiveness from the great ancestors from our past.