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I can't find my arms!

I was in my freaking canoe going down the Tigris river and I came across an effing alligator!

AN ALLIGATOR!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I yelled my brutal scream, tearing its scales off!

They floated down to the bottom of the river!

I guess I row too freaking hard for you little baby men!

I Am SO MAD RIGHT NOW!!!! I HATE GATORADE!!!

So THEREFORE I ALSO HATE ALLIGATORS!!!!!

I flung my spiked oar at the face of this water demon and it fell!!!

IT FELL WITH A TRAMENDOUS SPLKASSHH BECAUE IT WAS FLYING!!!

DID I MENTION IT WAS A FLYING ALLIGATOR!!!!

UUUGGHGHHH!!!! FREAKING LISTEN TO ME!!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS! I AM THE MIGHTY ERRHGHGHGH!

I guess I was lying earlier, I do know where my arms went… the gator got them..

But I JUST WANTED TO FIND AN EXCUSE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS STORY!!!

TIME TO JAM!