Planet Smasher Lyrics


At this point,

Ziltoid snaps out of the beautiful haze presented to him,

by N9 only to feel vulnerable and exposed.

His aggressive nature puts him in a headspace of confusion and paranoia.

He becomes angry,

(in a dramatic Ziltoidian way) and retreats to Flagggdathgths Universal Arcade,

where one can pay to destroy a virtual planet

(kind of like a PlayStation 15 with a big crazy screen).

Ziltoid:

Yes, I feel like a bit of entertainment.

Time to destroy the planets.

Which one shall it be?

This one?

No, too feeble.

This one?

yes, perhaps.

Yes, indeed.

This one shall do nicely.

Commander...

Commander Squizloid:

Yes, Captain Ziltoid?

Ziltoid:

Divert all the power from the main engines to the front guns!

Commander Squizloid:

Yes, captain Ziltoid!

Anything else?

Ziltoid:

Take 90% of the surplus power,

and divert it toward the sonar awakening device...

Commander Squizloid:

Aye, aye captain.

Ziltoid:

We must summon the 6th dimensional Planet Smasher.

I feel like a bit of fun.

Summon him!

Herman,

The Planet Smasher:

Who dares awaken the Planet Smasher?

Ziltoid:

It is I,

the 4th dimensional Ziltoid the omniscient!

The occupants of Ziltoid's space barge group together,

and begin to chant in unison while marching towards the front of the ship.

There the massive space windows slowly open and reveal the titanic form,

of the sleeping 6th dimensional creature.

The Planet Smasher!

(Whose real name happens to be Herman,

who actually doesn't really enjoy smashing planets.

He's just so huge, that anytime he goes anywhere he destroys things.

He's actually a pretty good guy at heart.

He's just lonely and massive, he just wants to read books.

But Ziltoid keeps misconstruing his immense voice,

and size as a crazy Destructo Beast).

Ziltoid is such a geek.

Herman,

The Planet Smasher:

Cherish the mind!

Cover your mind!

Cherish your mental sanctum.

Cower to war, cower to war.

Cower to war on the earth!

Cursed to be by the sun.

Power denotes!

You're the only one,

who channels the mind.

Channels the mind!

Channels the mind of the earth!

Cherish the pain!

Cherish the pain!

Cherish the pain!

Cherish the mental weaponry!

Cower to war, cower to war,

Cowards remain on the earth.

Tell me what you want from me!

Ziltoid and his Cronies:

All I want to be is the universe!

Parallel to beings around all of us.

Conduit to see through the Omniverse.

Letting the bombs go into tommorrow.

Pull!

Smasher!

Pull!

Smasher!

Bow to the valley below!

Bow down!

Smasher!

Pull!

Smasher!

Bow to the valley below!

The Hippies of Virtual World 72:

Please do not release the Planet Smasher, mighty Ziltoid!

We mean you no harm!

Ziltoid and his Cronies:

Pull!

Smasher!

Pull!

Smasher!

Bow to the valley below!

Bow down!

Smasher!

Pull!

Smasher!

Bow to the valley below!

Cronies (Summoning Herman):

Smasher!

Ziltoid and his Cronies:

All I want to be is the universe!

Parallel to beings around all of us.

Conduit to see through the Omniverse.

Herman,

The Planet Smasher:

Begone, foul pest!

And by the way, the name's Herman.

And I hate musicals!

Herman speaks:

"Ziltoid, you are such a nerd.

The 6th dimension is not about the power.

Power is the result!

Honestly, leave me alone."

Herman then flicks Ziltoid's space barge with his meaty paw,

and sends him careening through this particular galaxy,

spilling his coffee and leaving Ziltoid highly embarrassed.