Ziltoid is currently hovering 5 miles above Qatar. His fourth dimensional status gives him control of time. (He can’t alter it, but he can participate in it for fun). But in order to bend it, he requires the perfect fuel for time travel: Black coffee, found in only one place in the universe, Earth. Having traveled throughout the universe in search of the perfect brew, he descends on the Earth in a ferocious hail of aggression (a facade). But he wants to come off as a bad ass, so he wails and caterwauls and threatens the Earth’s governments, that if he doesn’t receive the perfect cup of coffee, he will invade the Earth. Ziltoid: I command my dominion, every heart and all opinion. Hide me, guide me, dry my tears. Slowly taking back the years, by your command! By your command! By your comrades! Know I know all I am and we are not, we are not to blame. For all I have learned now, we are not to blame. Over and over, and over and over, and over you live it again! Touch it, take it! Make it your friend! You have not convinced mighty Ziltoid, I am so omniscient. If there were to be two omnisciences, I would be both! Prepare yourself for the subjugation! Hide me, guide me, dry my tears. Slowly taking back... Know I know all I am and we are not, we are not to blame. For all I have learned now, we are not to blame. Over and over, and over and over, and over you live it again! Touch it, take it! Make it your friend! Oh, the physical race, you're dying. Oh, with physical grace. Gone too far from the universe, Gone too far for the way on home, Gone too far from the universe. The universe! I'm flying over physical... I'm flying over physical waste. I'll keep it light and stay awake. Ziltoid: Commander? Commander: Yes, Captain Ziltoid! Ziltoid: Have the humans delivered their ultimate cup of coffee? Commander: I have it right here, Sir. Ziltoid: Fetid, how dare they present this to me! Foul, they hide their finest bean! Prepare the attack! Aboard the Ziltoidian space barge, Ziltoid's cronies are lifting heavy boxes, containing 4th-dimensional guitar amps and cabs, onto the wings of the spacecraft. Ziltoid's fiendish plan is to take over the planet, by presenting himself as the ultimate guitar hero, stealing the hearts and minds of the unsuspecting human, and absconding the Earth's precious supply of coffee, while not getting into too much trouble. (He's never been good with confrontation). His orc-like henchmen are lifting and grunting through their arduous task, setting the stage for Ziltoid's furious heavy metal takeover... Commander: Captain Ziltoid! The humans are preparing themselves for the attack! Ziltoid: Excellent! Have you prepared the planet smasher? Ziltoidian Crew: Yes, my Lord! Ziltoid: Indeed, on my word! Ziltoidian Crew: Yes, my Lord! Ziltoid and his crew begin advancing on the Earth. Sergeant Bomber (Human Commander): Now listen here men! We represent the planet Earth! I want no heroes! He is gonna be unleashing a shit storm on us! We gotta be ready! They are coming over the horizon as we speak! We gotta be ready to take them down! Hold your position men! Do not fire until I tell you to fire! Have you got that? Army: Yes, Captain! Sergeant Bomber (Human Commander): Right! Hold your position! Ziltoid, he comes! At this point, Ziltoid's space barge comes careening through the stratosphere. Huge speaker cabs on the wings, with Ziltoid riding the cockpit, maniacally waving his custom ESP 7 String Baritone. Screaming through the sky towards the Earth, flames flickering as the oxygen starts, to scorch the outside of his fancy barge. He's grinning and tuning his axe: GCGCGCE. Readying his big stupid rack and plugging in his OD808.