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I have found a version of me

In a different reality

But how is that as I am me?

But then again is this even me?

I sometimes find me in another place

Sometimes I see myself as blood on white lace

A nuisance that won’t wash away

But then again, is that a reality?

Is this even me, because I am in doubt

Who am I when I scream and shout?

Usually I try to stay silent

So who am I when I turn violent?

All these thoughts inside my head

Is this what I am good enough to get?

I yell down the drain but I am not heard

My heart and body are so filled with hurt

Have I been here for six hours or nine?

Naked in a bathtub alone with my pain

My voice is long gone as my throat is dead

I have screamed and cried with eyes so red

I am crying but without tears

My eyes have been empty for so many years

I come here to kill my emotions slowly

But then again is this even me?

Sometimes I’m here for multiple days

Without food or company in disarray

Naked and loud, I scream and shout

Hoping this time, it will be my final bout

Coming here is like going to war

And every time I pray to soar

I don’t want to win, I want to die

Saying I want to live would be my greatest lie

So here I sit and scream out my lungs

The doubt inside is consuming me

Is this even me, I have no clue

You could be me and I could be you

I have awoken, how long has it been?

My memory is blurry and I feel sick within

Nothing has changed, this body’s still not dead

Cold and ill in the bathtub with severe pain in my head

Is this even me?