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Quiet as a cradle,

I laid in a middle night drift, spinning

Hissed at the moon

Conjured up the flowers

to fix my impression of the gloom

I feel them all

Great mass of color

flooded in my bed

I feel them all

Great mass of color

flooded in my bed

Dissolving into red

Half awake holding my ghost in the morning

Sunlight coming down the bend

Maroon sky on the send

My great former terror

When trees gave doves the leaves

and I was grim drunk death—

a stranger to myself

I feel them all

Great mass of color

flooding in my bed

I feel them all

Great mass of color

flooding in my bed

Dissolving into red

Can I accept I’m real?

Do I need this affection? Do you?

Do you need this confusion? Do you?

Living trapped inside this body

Soft, haunted, waiting, wanting

Measured change evades real healing

Taking love with little reason

Seeing you as I was: behind a locked door,

nervous and a fool

Seeing you as I was: desperate for men to guide you

You are the sea and nobody owns you