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I’m a fuckin' vampire!!

Since 1395

I made a deal on my deathbed

For eternal life

The devil smiled upon me

As I signed my name in blood

I thought I’d cheated death

But the worst was yet to come

I’m not among the living

And so I cannot die

But neither am I dead

Oh man alive

Wish I could take it all back

Don’t wanna be grumpy old drac

Six hundred years

I’ve been around

And everyone I love

Is 6 feet beneath the ground

I dream of death

But it never comes

It’s all I want

Please just let me turn to dust

That’s not what I ordered

Send it back