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i wish that i had your eyes

so i could see what you see in me

i wish that i could be present at all times

flickering in and out of my presence of mind

it would be nice i had another chance

starting over at square one

a little less fucked this time

i'm sick of this shit

i'm sick of making excuses for myself

i want to be there for you

i just want you to know that i love you

over and over repeating in my head

the frustration i sense in you

when i can't wake up

when i can't take a shower

when i just can't smile

when i can't take care of myself

fuck

why in the fuck would i ever want to burden someone else

with the shit that i have in my head?

why do people i don't even know

want to listen to the songs that i make about being alone?

why should anyone fucking support me?

why would anyone give a shit about me?

me?

me?

the view from here is a brick fucking wall

i keep smashing myself against it

my knuckles bleed and deform

the view outside is a black hole

i continue to push but i never get any further

my malnourished frame continues to wither

as time slips through my fingers

and i continue to achieve nothing that i had planned

soon enough i will be nothing but another statistic

bleed

i wish that i had your eyes

so i could see what you see in me

when i sleep 14 hours a week

when i forget to eat

when i can't just fake smile

when i fucking give up