I will commit murder, but stretch its time Because experimentation is not a crime Needless testing with electric shock A tormenting death is more time on the clock I love the cleanly, smooth fine feel Of that cold, hard sharpening steel And I love the high from pushing in With my razors through preserved skin So do I adore live subjects to analyze Fresh from crowded cages of compact size With hardly any room for them to thrive Ensures that they will not survive My colleagues and I have got the grants Because our methods are never scant It costs a lot of money to power electrodes To pump a monkey full of 10,000 volts And so who cares? Do you? NOT ME! Since my job's secure at the laboratory Just drown out screams from horrific pain with thoughts that this is for mankind's gain