Across the hills they come Bags full of samples of floor It's impossible to run As they hold you at your door (You decline) His sales advances (He says fine) But he continues talking And so you're offered a whole floor free But the offer is too good to believe Perhaps you might like his carpet solutions The man supplies global floor revolution (Doormat instead) You've got five (Comes in red) You need no more (You decline) His sales advances (He says fine) But he continues talking (Then insists) It's getting annoying (Grabs your wrists) Is he allowed to do that (And persists) Please let me explain myself I want to sell you carpets I thought that's what you wanted I offer quality carpets At the lowest rate around Don't throw away my carpets I need to feed my children And they are sick of carpets They eat them everyday Would you prefer a shag rug? There is no giving up He is a marketing thug But he's drinking from the death cup (Leave the door) Go to the kitchen (Bitter, sore) Different mindset Had enough of this man's stupid games And the inner beast is no longer contained Hide the meat-cutter behind your back And grab the biggest bin-liner or sack (Oh you're back) Welcoming smile (What is that?) Produce it now (Spare my life) Press it against him (Think of my wife) He doesn't have one (Ouch that hurts) Turn it on (Blood does spurt) Finish the job (On your shirt) And so the deed is done I want to sell you carpets I thought that's what you wanted I offer quality carpets At the lowest rate around Don't throw away my carpets I need to feed my children And they are sick of carpets They eat them everyday What's this a knock at the door? Another thinks he has what it takes A salesman with a book of floors Go and fetch the sharpened stake By August twenty have gone No longer a carpet craze But what you have not yet won Sellers rise up from their graves And I want to sell you carpets I thought that's what you wanted I offer quality carpets At the lowest rate around Don't throw away my carpets I need to feed my children And they are sick of carpets They eat them everyday