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I wish I could find a way to disappear

And a way to not feel so empty

I wish I could find a reason to live

But I'm as dead as my feelings

I wish I could find a way to get up

And not feel as weak as I've always been

I wish I knew the right way to love

Since I've never felt anything like that

I wish I could manage to escape from all this

Even though my legs don't respond

I wish I could understand my feelings

If there are any I can understand

I wish I could understand the hell I live in

I wish I knew when this torment will end

If I could manage to feel so good

I would be someone different from the shit I am now

I could regain my strength and move forward

But my world is just in pieces

Will I ever be enough?

Will I ever feel safe saying I love something?

Will I ever break free from this melancholy?

Will I ever be happy without their affection?

I just wish

I could be free

I just wish

I could stop feeling like this