Don Jamieson Interview

Shauna O'Donnell: HI DON, THANKS FOR TALKING WITH ME TODAY.
How are you doing?

Shauna O'Donnell: I'M DOING REALLY GOOD. ARE YOU HANGING OUT AT METAL BLADE RECORDS TODAY?
No I'm at the hotel today. We were all having such trouble getting from where we were in L.A. and everyone is wiped out. I’m just going to chill, talk to some people from the hotel and then go over there tomorrow. I came from Detroit where it was ten inches of snow.

Shauna O'Donnell: HOW DO YOU LIKE THE WEATHER HERE IN CALIFORNIA?
Uh yeah, yes please! I had ten and a half hours of delay sitting in the Detroit Airport yesterday.

Shauna O'Donnell: I WAS ON “CRANK YANKERS” LAST NIGHT LOOKING FOR YOU. WHAT PUPPET ARE YOU?
They just made a puppet. When I was on there it was on MTV2, they switched it over from Comedy Central. It’s just a puppet of me, it looks just like me. I told them if I let them make a puppet of me that they had to promise to make it handsome.

Shauna O'Donnell: WELL YOU ARE HANDSOME.
Oh, well thank you. I said “You’re puppets look so retarded. I want a handsome puppet.” They gave it side burns and stuff. It was cool.

Shauna O'Donnell: ARE YOU STILL DOING IT?
I just did the one season with it. My partner Jim Florentine has the big breakout puppet with Special Ed.

Shauna O'Donnell: I HEAR YOU RECENTLY INKED A DEAL WITH METAL BLADE TO PUT OUT YOUR COMEDY ALBUM NEXT YEAR. WHAT WILL BE ON THE ALBUM?
It's going to be a forty-five minute to an hour stand up set. It will be me doing what I do, you know, lots of high energy and lots of filth. I might try to do something fun on top of that. I've been thinking about trying to do a mash up. I'd get a Metal Blade band to do like an instrumental track and then lay some of my comedy over it, but that would just be like a little bonus thing. It's just basically my live stand up.

Shauna O'Donnell: I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU IF YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE ANY GUEST SPOTS ON IT OR IF IT WAS GOING TO BE ALL YOU?
I'm going to find out a little more this week, but I've talked to Brian about doing something like that. I'd love to do something creative like that. I've been able to mix the world of comedy and metal over the last few years. I'd love to keep exploring what else we can do with that.

Shauna O'Donnell: IS THIS YOUR FIRST ALBUM?
Yes, it will be my very first live stand up CD. I'm excited; I'm on friggin Metal Blade, what the hell?

Shauna O'Donnell: DID YOU EVER THINK YOU’D BE ON METAL BLADE RECORDS?
No, that’s the label that introduced me to so many bands. When I was stuck with Aerosmith, KISS and Priest, I knew there was more out there, I just didn’t know where to find it. Metal Blade brought it to me and expanded my whole world. I’m not saying those other bands weren’t great, I just didn’t know where to go to find other bands. I wanted to go deeper underground and find things. Brian Slagel introduced the world to Metallica, so for anyone who does that, I’ll do it for free.

Shauna O'Donnell: DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I played the guitar pretty badly. Originally when I was a teenager I wanted to be a musician, but then my band would go play parties and we had to lug all this equipment and split the money four ways. I’d rather just tell dirty jokes, carry the jokes in my pocket to the gig and I don’t have to split the money with anybody.

Shauna O'Donnell: YOU CAN ALWAYS PLAY AIR DRUMS AND AIR GUITAR.
Those are some good ones and I’m pretty good with the Wii too.

Shauna O'Donnell: WHEN WILL YOUR CD RELEASE?
I guess sometime in the Spring, maybe around April. What I’d love to do is tour with a Metal Blade band opening for them. I did that last year with Charred Walls of the Damned. We did a two week tour together and I opened all the shows doing my comedy. I had no idea how that was going to go over, but it was so cool and everywhere we went people loved the idea of having a comic up there. I told a lot of metal jokes so it was totally appealing to that audience. Maybe I’ll go out with Charred again. I don’t know when their album comes out, but I think it’s around the same time. I definitely want to do something like that again.

Shauna O'Donnell: THAT METAL SHOW IS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER SO A LOT MORE PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO RECOGNIZE YOU NOW. IF YOU COME OUT ON STAGE, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Yeah, I knew I would have the recognition from the audience. The minute they see the side burns they know who I am. We went to Montreal and Toronto where they don’t get VH1 Classic at all and it worked great up there too. Like I said, I was thrilled and I’m looking to do it more and more in the future.

Shauna O'Donnell: DOES THIS MEAN YOU GET TO RIDE ALONG ON THE TOUR BUS WITH THE BANDS THEN?
Ummm, if by bus you mean ten passenger van with a trailer on the back, then yes.

Shauna O'Donnell: YES, THAT’S WHAT I MEANT.
And drive for hundreds of miles across the barren wastelands of Canada trying to get to the next gig, then yes.

Shauna O'Donnell: AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T DO IT IN WINTER. I HEAR THAT’S REALLY BAD.
We did it in the early summer or spring and it was a lot easier. We went old school. We all jumped in the van. Let’s put it this way, seven really gassy guys in a small van for hours at a time is not the most pleasant way to tour, but it was still fun. Now I know why they call that guy “Ripper” by the way. That dude needs to go to the hospital or something. Something’s not right inside of him.

Shauna O'Donnell: AS FAR AS YOUR STAND UP COMEDY, IT GOES BEYOND YOUR LOVE FOR METAL. IS IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO COME UP WITH NEW MATERIAL ALL THE TIME OR DO YOU FEEL THERE IS SO MUCH OUT THERE TO TALK ABOUT THAT IT’S NEVER HARD FOR YOU?
It’s not hard to come up with material, but you always want to try to present stuff that tells the audience about you. Part of me is my love for heavy metal and obviously I do have the TV show. We definitely get fans of the show that come out. I give people a peek into my life for forty-five minutes. I write jokes all the time where I think they’re really funny, but why am I saying it on stage when it doesn’t really say anything about me. It’s funny, but it doesn’t really define who I am. With comedy there’s no practice. Bands can go into a room, jam and decide if they like a song or not. I can’t do that, if I write a joke the only way I know if it’s good or bad is to spit it out in front of an audience. It either gets a laugh or there’s dead silence. That’s the only way I know that a joke sucks. Thank God after fifteen years there’s a lot less dead silence then there used to be.

Shauna O'Donnell: I’VE EVEN HAD THAT ON THE PHONE WHERE I WILL TRY TO MAKE A JOKE WITH A BAND I’M INTERVIEWING. THEY WILL HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR AND WILL SIT THERE DEAD SILENT. I’M LIKE “WELL, LET’S MOVE ON!”
Exactly, that’s what you do when you do stand up. It’s the same thing. You say “Alright, I’m moving on.” I’ll try to squeeze in something new between two jokes I know that way if I get crickets I can always follow it up with a crowd pleaser.

Shauna O'Donnell: I THINK IT’S FUNNY, JUST BECAUSE THEY DON’T DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT.
It’s weird with comedy because you have to enjoy the material you are doing, but you are getting paid to entertain people. You can’t really bully them into laughing if they don’t want to.

Shauna O'Donnell: OH YEAH, DEFINITELY, LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT METAL SHOW. I ACTUALLY ATTENDED A TAPING A COUPLE MONTHS AGO WITH ALICE COOPER AND ROB ZOMBIE WHEN YOU GUYS BROUGHT IT TO LOS ANGELES.
Oh cool!

Shauna O'Donnell: IT WAS SO FUN TO WATCH.
Those are two great guys and they were two great guys to have on together on the same tape day. It’s very well acknowledged by Rob that he is the bastard spawn of Alice Cooper. They are both great talkers and Alice is such a gentleman. I was like a geeked out school girl that day because I’m such an Alice freak. I told Eddie and Jim “Just line me up and let me go. I’m taking this interview over because I’ve got a million things to ask this guy. I’ve been waiting thirty-five years to ask him these questions.” He was like a hot chick sitting there. I was nervous.

Shauna O'Donnell: YOU KNOW WHAT SURPRISED ME ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE WAS REALLY FUNNY.
Obviously he has a million great stories, you’ll be laughing and then he tags a great punch line at the end. He would be a great comic. He knows how to weave a story together. I should have him write some stuff for me. I’ll put it on the new Metal Blade album. I could have a little section for jokes that Alice Cooper wrote for me. You never know.

Shauna O'Donnell: DID YOU JUST COMPLETE SEASON SIX OR ARE YOU STILL TAPING IT?
Six just finished airing this past Saturday. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Nothing is official or in writing, but it’s very much looking like we are going to do a Season 7. I couldn’t be more thrilled because I’ve got a mortgage to pay.

Shauna O'Donnell: IF SEASON 7 DOES HAPPEN WILL YOU BE TAPING IT IN L.A.?
Nothing has been officially decided or announced. I’m a New Yorker and I love doing the show there because I can take the subway to work. The problem with New York is that it’s hard to get the bookings. There are not a lot of artists in New York. The L.A. thing works for us as far as guests. The crowds in L.A., I’ve got to say, have been blowing us away so far. It’s been a good experience to be out here and I don’t mind coming out here. We tape a whole season in ten days.

Shauna O'Donnell: YOU HAVE INTERVIEWED MANY ROCK LEGENDS IN YOUR CAREER. IS THERE ANYONE YOU HAVEN’T INTERVIEWED YET THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO?
Yeah, I mean, we talked about it on the TV show. We still haven’t had Ozzy on. Since we’ve been on the air he’s had a book, a new album, an Ozzfest and a world tour. We’ve been waiting to see what’s going on with Ozzy. We’d like to get Gene and Paul on from KISS. Beyond that Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth would be great guests. I know they both watch the show. I’d love to have one or both of those guys on of course. We’d love to have the guys from Metallica on the show. We interviewed Lars backstage at a show, but would love to have them come sit in. The show is an hour now, so we can cover so much more ground.

Shauna O'Donnell: I THINK EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID WOULD MAKE A GREAT SEASON 7.
Thank you, maybe you could help me make some calls on this.

Shauna O'Donnell: I ACTUALLY PROBABLY COULD.
Then maybe for the grand finale we could get Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers.

Shauna O'Donnell: THERE IS ONE QUESTION THAT PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME. THEY WANT TO KNOW OUT OF ALL THE BANDS I’VE INTERVIEWED, WHICH ONES WERE ASSHOLES TO ME. TO BE HONEST I CAN’T SAY THAT ANY HAVE BEEN. MOST GUYS IN BANDS HAVE BEEN REALLY COOL. WHAT IS THE ONE QUESTION PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK YOU?
I get the same one and it’s so funny. That’s why reality shows are so big. People don’t want to know about anything good, they just want to see train wrecks and hear awful stuff. I’ve had the same experiences you’ve had. Everybody that has come on the show has been cool. I think now that the show is really known, everybody now knows what the vibe is. Nobody comes in with a chip on their shoulder. They know it’s just a hang, that we are going to break balls and laugh at stuff. We ask tough questions no doubt, but it’s not coming from us putting them on the spot. It’s just a hang. You still have to ask things that the fans want to hear about. Michael Anthony was on and you’ve got to ask him “Why the fuck are you not in Van Halen?” You’ve got to ask him that, but he knows we’re not ambushing him or going into territory where we don’t belong. Michael is such an easy going guy that he’ll answer anything you ask him. We’ve only had great experiences.

Shauna O'Donnell: ARE YOU A FAN OF OTHER TYPES OF MUSIC, I MEAN BESIDES METAL?
No! Nothing, I’ve never liked any other kind of music. There might be a handful of bands. I can put a Johnny Cash CD on because Johnny is as heavy as any heavy metal band out there. I don’t kick back when I get home and put Lady Gaga on. I never would.

Shauna O'Donnell: THE ONE THING I’VE NOTICED ABOUT METAL FANS IS THAT THEY ARE VERY DEDICATED TO METAL.
We are all bonded by it. There’s nothing wrong with liking different types of music. I just never did. I think that is one of the big reasons why our show is going to go into a 7th Season. When metal fans find something they stay loyal to it as long as it’s real. Metal fans are real perceptive about that. At the risk of offending pop potential guests, we are always truthful on the air and that’s the most important thing. You can’t say everything is good all the time because it’s not. Not every album by every band is good because if you say that then there’s no credibility to it and the fans can sense that. It’s the same thing with music. This is such a pure form of music that appeals to certain types of people. We are all bonded by it. We’re all the same guy, even the guys in bands. We are all the same guy that sat in our bedroom instead of driving out to the woods, making out with chicks and going to the prom. We were in our rooms studying liner notes and discovering new music at the record store.

Shauna O'Donnell: I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR RESUME AND I’M VERY IMPRESSED. YOU HAVE A LOT OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS. THERE ARE SO MANY WE COULDN’T POSSIBLY COVER ALL OF THEM IN AN INTERVIEW.
Well thank you, but I made most of them up though. No I’m kidding! All those accomplishments, yet nobody knows who the hell I am. Perfect!

Shauna O'Donnell: WELL YOU HAVE “MEET THE CREEPS” WHICH IS AWESOME.
Yes, a hidden camera comedy with me and Florentine.

Shauna O'Donnell: YOU HAVE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE ON THE CAST FOR THAT SHOW.
Oh yeah a bunch of other comic friends of ours are on there. We’ve been doing that for a bunch of years and we are going to have a 3rd DVD coming out. We have it all filmed, we just have to put it together. That’s the thing, with Florentine, we also do “Terrorizing Telemarketers” CD’s where we torture telemarketers. We have five volumes of those. Florentine and I have been partners in this business for over fifteen years. That Metal Show is the culmination of all the things that we’ve done together because it’s everything that we are about. I work with my two best friends, I talk about the only music I ever loved and I get to break balls.

Shauna O'Donnell: YOU WRITE THE JOKES FOR THE CELEBRITY ROASTS. I LOVE THOSE.
I wrote for the Gene Simmons roast when they did it on his TV show. I was so honored to do that because I’ve been a KISS fan since I was nine years old. That was such an easy gig for me. I probably wrote twenty-five pages of just awful things about Gene. I like being able to hand them off to another comic and let them do it, that way when I meet Gene later that night he has no idea what nasty stuff I wrote. I get to stay anonymous. It’s all in good fun and Gene had a good time, but those roast jokes can be brutal sometimes.

Shauna O'Donnell: OH YEAH, I’VE SEEN A FEW OF THEM. I JUST WATCHED THE DAVID HASSELHOFF ONE.
Yeah, I wrote for that one too. It’s true with roasting, you only really roast people that you respect, otherwise it could get ugly.

Shauna O'Donnell: WOULD YOU EVER LIKE TO BE ROASTED?
I’m pretty sensitive, I don’t think so. We roasted Jim Florentine in New York City a few weeks ago. I was one of the roasters, so I took a lot of shrapnel too. It was mostly stuff about my side burns and silly stuff like that, so I got a mini roast on me. It wasn’t too bad, but I don’t think I’d like to be the subject because I know what awful things I write about people. I don’t think I could handle it.

Shauna O'Donnell: THEY’RE JUST JEALOUS OF THE SIDE BURNS. THAT’S WHAT IT REALLY IS.
(Laughing)

Shauna O'Donnell: YOUR TALENT GOES BEYOND MUSIC. YOU WON AN EMMY AWARD FOR YOUR WORK ON HBO’S “INSIDE THE NFL.” THAT’S REALLY COOL.
That was during the 2005 football season. Florentine and I are huge sports fans and we got the opportunity to do sports themed sketches for HBO’s “Inside the NFL.” Our stuff is pretty hardcore. We would go watch the taping when they would be rolling our piece. Bob Costas and Dan Marino were watching our stuff. Some of our stuff I think was a little too hardcore for them, but at the end of the day the executive producer loved it and he submitted one of our sketches. The next thing you know we’re winning an Emmy. Bob Costas was shaking my hand going “Congratulations!” Jim and I had missed the announcement that we got an Emmy. So we were like “Congratulations for what?” and he was like “You guys won an Emmy.” We didn’t even realize it because we were sitting in the audience goofing on people because we were like “We are two idiots from Jersey. We’re not going to win an Emmy.” We wore the suits we wore in high school. We looked horrible. We so didn’t belong there, yet somehow we won. I know they were suits from high school because I still had my diploma crumpled up in my pocket.

Shauna O'Donnell: WHAT HAS WINNING THE EMMY DONE FOR YOUR CARRER?
Umm, my mom calls back now.

Shauna O'Donnell: WELL THAT’S GOOD.
That’s about it, I mean, it’s a great honor to have it, but to a comedy audience it doesn’t really hold a lot of weight. It’s just a great honor to have received it. I wouldn’t have expected to win an Emmy in a million years. It does help with the ladies. It is definitely an aphrodisiac if you put it on the night stand next to the bed. It helps out a little.

Shauna O'Donnell: I BET IT DOES. I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR SCHEDULE AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE ONE MORE SHOW THIS YEAR ON NEW YEARS EVE.
Yeah, I’m going to do New Years Eve in New Jersey at one of my favorite clubs out there. We will do a big New Years show and have a blast. Towards the end of January is when I’ll record the Metal Blade CD.

Shauna O'Donnell: OK COOL, SO 2011 WILL BE ALL ABOUT GOING OUT ON THE ROAD WITH YOUR COMEDY ROUTINE THEN?
Yeah as soon as the album is released I’d love to go out on the road and promote it, not just at the comedy clubs I play, but I will hopefully get on some tours with Metal Blade bands and create a package like that. That would be so cool to do. Now that I know it works, I’m even more pumped to do it.

Shauna O'Donnell: I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST OF LUCK WITH THAT. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE INTERVIEW. IT WAS AWESOME TALKING TO YOU. YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON.
Thank you, I really appreciate that.

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Tags:  Don Jamieson, comedy  , interviews

Shauna O'Donnell    December 13, 2010