Steve Asheim

Deicide/Order of Ennead drummer, Steve Asheim, has taken on the daunting task of trying to fix your messed up lives, and based on the questions you submitted, you guys are more fucked up than we could have imagined. If you are in need of advice, feel free to ask here.

I earned my 'red wings' with my girl a few months ago when i was drunk. Now every month she wants it but i think that shit is sick.

HA! SOMETIMES A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO! AND IF YOU'RE WITH HER LONG ENOUGH, YOU'LL BE THANKFUL TO GET IT THEN, YOU'LL BE GETTING SO LITTLE!

How do I tell my boyfriend I am into chicks too

THE SAME WAY YOU JUST TOLD ME..I'M COOL WITH IT. THAT OR WATCH SOME LESBO PORN WITH HIM, AND IF HE STILL DOESN'T CATCH ON...MYSPACE ME!

I did some really fuckd up shit when i was on heroin 4 years ago. I really feel bad about it and it kills me everyday. It is all i think about. I am afraid if i confront the people i hurt i'd be thrown in jail though. What should i do

Fuck 'em! Get a face-lift and move to Central America.

I can't get a girl, maybe it is because of my looks or because I'm too friendly for women etc. etc. I don't really know, got any tips?

TELL THEM YOU THINK THEY'RE HOT, EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT. THEN TELL THEM YOU GOT A HUGE ONE. WHATTAYA GOT TO LOSE?!?!?


Order Of Ennead - Studio Recap
Why do chicks like guys that are badasses?

BECAUSE THEY THINK A BADASS IS GONNA FUCK 'EM REAL GOOD! IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE.

I met this girl, she has amazing blue eyes, and she is good looking but she confused me, I am normally really good at reading people, but I can't figure her out. Her eyes say one thing but she acts another. Have you ever met a girl who confused with her eyes, who amazed you by being herself not caring that you are famous or she had the chance to hang out with you who you wanted to spend time with and talk to?

HA! YOU'RE CRACKIN' ME UP MAN! DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT SHE'S THINKING BECAUSE IT AIN'T GONNA MATTER. JUST TELL HER SHE'S GOT A GREAT RACK AND GET IN THERE!

If your penis had a theme song, what would it be?

THE THEME TO "2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY"


Steve Asheim
my cat just died. I didn't think i was that attached to it, but i have now missed 2 days work from depression. Is there something wrong with me?

YEAH, SUCK IT UP AND GET BACK TO WORK! AND GET ANOTHER CAT, THERE'S ONLY 50 MILLION OF 'EM RUNNIN' AROUND!

What was the dumbest thing you ever did drunk?

I WAS PROBABLY TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER.

what's the drunkest you have ever been?

DRUNK ENOUGH TO ALMOST DIE FROM IT. IN FACT, I PROBABLY SHOULD BE DEAD.

have you ever cried over a girl? I can’t stop and it’s been over a week.

WE'VE ALL BEEN FUCKED OVER AND IT HURTS ALOT, BUT YOU GOTTA SAY "FUCK THAT SHIT" AND GO GET YOU A HOTT HOOKER! THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, " IN A STORM, ANY PORT WILL DO!"

My penis is very large. I know dudes always say they want a big one and so do the ladies, but mine is freakishlie big. When I sit to take a crap, if I don’t hold it, it splashes into the toilet. Kinda gross I know. 10 inches flaccid. I have even consulted a doctor but he said there is nothing they can do. Is my only hope in life accepting this and doing porn? Turning a negative into a positive?

YUP! AND GET A DEEPER TOILET! OR A THICKER TOILET SEAT!

Where’s a good place in Florida to go for burgers?

Wendy's

When you guys go on the road, what is your favorite stop and why?

AMSTERDAM OBVIOUSLY! BUT A PRETTY DAMN GOOD TIME CAN BE HAD ANYWHERE!

Have you ever double teamed a chick with another guy in the band?

HA! None of your fuckin' business!

My friends rip on me saying i'm not really a fan of certain bands as when i goto shows, i spend most of my time at bars and not in the pit with them. In my defense, I go home with the Sheila's more than they do too...plus I can hear the music just fine.

IS THAT YOUR QUESTION? WHAT'S YOUR POINT!? SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT TO ME. IF YOU'RE HAPPY, YOU KNOW, GO WITH IT!

Official Site

Date Posted: 2009-02-02